Not so much "The End"

There's a book that I continuously want to read, but I had to return it to the library.  The pages are damaged as it's been mistreated many times.  The librarians put a hard cover on it to protect the inside pages, but that makes it much harder to find the novel that's inside.  For almost a year, I've only had to the chance to read the first couple of chapters before a librarian tells me to return it.  Now with it's hard cover, I can't seem to find it and hides between all of the other books.  This time, it's been misplaced and I'll never be able to read past what I've already read.  The story never really finishes and I'm left painfully guessing what would have happened if I had finished the story.  It will take time to forget about it and move on to another story, but as of now I'll have to continue roaming the library restless and hopeless.

Indifferent

There was a point in time when all I wanted was your commitment.
Now, all I want is what I had put behind you.
I'm on a drive to a new place.
The destination isn't yet on a map.
You are still there, but not like before.
You are with me for the times I still miss.
But my expectations of you aren't more than a goodbye kiss.

All I ever wanted was to share what I've been given,
To be forever loved in your eyes,
My hand in yours and a dream based only on reality.
I could give you my life and strive to make everyday like the last,
It doesn't matter what happened in the past,
because you are who you are with that past
and it's perfect.
You and your heart are all I want.
Give me that and I will give you my all.
I pray and pray that one day life will guide you back to me.
I ask for a sign whether to leave you behind or wait,
It seems impossible for the first,
but it seems that I may have to fight my fear and leave you behind.

If I could, I would erase every memory of you.
I am not waving a white flag or ignoring what happened,
but I've lost too much time because of you.
This one moment, I over think it
and suddenly I'm free.
No matter how many memories you've given me,
I won't hold onto them anymore.
There's light at the end of the tunnel.
I am stronger and know that I am more.
I knew from the beginning what to expect.
It was my ignorance.
Goodbye and move on.
All of a sudden I am my own.
I am me, I see me without you.

I believed in something that was not.
I gave everything I had.
I loved and cared.
It's all part of the past.
But my heart is being held captive.
I try to make it right.
I thought it wouldn't take me long.
It's all wrong.
That was the last time.
The last reason to make things right.
The first kiss and the first time is gone.
The connection broken.
I had everything I wanted.
I see you face in the shadows that I can't ignore.
You speak and make it better.
But never is it better.
Never do I get what I want.
It's all gone.
Everything I wanted is out of sight.
I can pray and wish, but the final scene happened.
I can only remember the first kiss and the first time.
I lost everything.
The final words and the final sentence, done.
I can't let this go on forever.
I don't know what to do.
The memories haunt me.
I need a savior from them.
Where do I start again when my heart has no ending.
Please allow me to let you go.

One song after another the past makes itself present. 
Replays after replays I wish and pray you were still here.
Thinking about how it used to be.
Trying to feel what I used to feel.
My heart beating against yours.
Our voices soft in the dark.
It's all I want.
Just you.
Just be mine.
Open your eyes and look into mine.
 Know that during this time you're all I want.
It's all I want. 
Nothing more, nothing less.
Just say yes.

Eyes on you like hawks, we stare and watch every movement from each breath you take to the opening of your eyes throughout the day.  The break of day comes and one by one people disappear to leave you with your one and only love.  She cares, eats, sleeps, and repeats the cycle every day for you.  Prayers are always on the way, calling the angels to create a shield from the evil that is always lurking.  Sleep, rest, and let your worries leave you like leaf does during winter.  Close your eyes and dream so that you can walk again, smile again, and speak again.  Faith is on our side always and dreams are everything, but impossible.